Sunday, September 23, 2012

Some Basics...and Some Changes.

Yeah, my post titles are so original.  That is what this post is, though.  Basics about me, about MS for other newbies like me...Or actually more like basics about my MS and the changes so far.  Since MS is different for everyone. Yay!  We'll start with just me, though.  Just Jaime. Born and raised in Virginia.  Married to a man who is perfect for me since 2000.  We complement each other well and have 3 beautiful daughters.  We moved to the Seattle 'burbs 2 years ago.  Talk about a culture shock. It was what was best for my family, though, and we are getting used to it.  I am pretty introverted unless you know me, and coupled with anxiety, this has led to some thinking that I am stuck-up.  It is something I try to work on frequently, but it is difficult when social situations make me break out in a rash, get dizzy, have heart palpitations and tunnel vision.  Public speaking is not happening with girl.  After moving to Washington, I was approached by an old high school friend in a direct sales business.  Not something that I would normally do.  While I like going to home parties and listening to others give their presentation and looking at products, it isn't something that I thought I could ever do. I can't talk in front of people.  I freeze.  I break out in a sweat.  I shake.  Making phone calls, forget it!  But you know what?  I took that giant leap and signed up.  I figured I only knew a couple of people-great ladies that I met when I found a book club because I really needed friends-and if it didn't work out then it wasn't a huge loss.  So I have been doing this for a little over a year.  Started off pretty strong and then I started having these suck-ass symptoms.  Can't communicate for crap and am so forgetful.  Business has been struggling and honestly a whole summer of being used as a pin cushion wasn't real conducive to wanting to get out there and get "work by business".  So a new catalog came out for my company this month and I am trying to work it a bit. Starting slow...  It is difficult when you loss track of your thought in the middle of a sentence and say, "Um" every other word.  Really brings out that anxiety even more.  I was doing a ton of online and catalog parties, but even talking on the phone is difficult most of the time.  Not ready to give up, though!  I am thankful that I started the business, though, because I did make a couple of great friends.  One of whom has been a huge lifesaver during the past few months.

I mentioned my book club...I love reading.  Used to read anything, could pick it up and start it and at least give it the old college try and would rate it on what it was not on whether or not it was a fantastic piece of literature.  Typically would go through a book every couple of days.  Would stay up until 1:00 a.m. reading and seriously fly through it.  However, MS completely screws with that.  I can't read if there is background noise.   I start reading whatever words are being said in the background.  My eyes fatigue and start crossing by 10:30 (I made it until 10:47 a couple of nights ago! Oh happy day!) or I am just so tired the book or Kindle gets dropped on my face.  Usually, if I am reading in  bed it is my Kindle because by nighttime my hands are tired and hands will start shaking a bit. At least the Kindle has a button and I don't have to flip pages.  So not only am I not reading as fast, but what I am reading might not necessarily be making as much sense.  If it jumps around too much, if it is a certain style, etc.  Not the author's fault that I can't follow, but I still end up cussing the book.  Totally not fair to the poor book.  I have a couple of dozen books on my Kindle that are 15% done, and books all around my house with bookmarks sticking out of them.  Quite pitiful I have become.  

Cooking is something else that has changed.  I enjoy cooking.  I love to try new recipes and am a decent cook.  Not chef material, but can hold my own.  But, hands get tired so I need to take a break halfway through cutting something, someone talks to me and I forget what I was doing and forget to season something else.  It is a hot mess in my kitchen these days.  Then when I do get something made and everyone else likes it, it doesn't taste good to me, or I can only eat a little bit because my appetite has decreased.  It is something that I have had to work on.  Make a list, cook when the kids are at school or completely otherwise occupied and not going to come in when I am right in the middle of an important step.  Time management is what I am working on here, also. :)

I have been working on getting more organized and delegating some household tasks to others.  If I can stay more organized that should help overall and if I cans stay ahead on different chores, then when there are days when I can't function as well, basic plans will be in place.  Yep, it's a learning curve...


  1. Have you tried audio books, my friend? I wish you the very best as you navigate this road bump in your life. I'm sorry you have to (hug).

    1. I haven't...I have listened to audio books before and wasn't able to pay attention to them well. Now that my focus is even worse off, I think I would have a harder time following. I am going to save the audio books for a time if my eyesight dictates I use them. Thank you for the suggestion and good wishes! (hug)